Arts & Entertainment
The treasure my ex-boyfriend left behind
Published
6 years agoon
Posted By
Outlaw PartnersBy Daryn Kagan EBS Contributor
This is a story about where we get our people. About how ugly can sometimes, sometimes, leave behind a treasure.
There was so much wrong with this particular relationship-red flags from the beginning. And yet I stayed-for years. I, the columnist who writes about a healthy marriage, raising kids, you know, normal-ish stuff.
I’m so disappointed when I look at that much younger me. I cringe at all that I put up with; I’m ashamed, really. I think I was hoping the joy I felt hanging around the super fun guy would transform him into a stand-up man. It never happened.
His ex-girlfriend was one of the first red flags. They were still friends. “Oh, heck, no!” I insisted, seeing things in a 22-year-old’s black and white way.
Boyfriend looked unfazed. “No one gives up Lois,” he explained. “To meet her is to love her. You’ll see.”
Of all the crazy stunts he pulled over the years, I have to say, Lois turned out not to be one of them.
I met her and instantly knew he was right. You can’t not like Lois. She’s like a fairy godmother, a sugary pixy stick, and giggly delight wrapped up into one person. Boyfriend and I kept Lois. Even long after we let go of each other, which was way too long after we should have.
He and I stayed friends, in a way, too. We’d check in from time to time over the years, until his bad choices, the things he insisted he could handle, got the best of him and he died.
It’s been years now. In the unexpected way life can twist, Lois was recently in the city where I live for a work thing.
“Dinner?” she texted, pointing out it was the anniversary of the day he passed.
“Absolutely,” I replied.
She pranced into the restaurant, as sparkly as if I’d seen her yesterday. We toasted him, briefly bemoaned his demons, and then had our own night.
He was wrong about just about everything-except Lois. He couldn’t give himself fully to either one of us, but somehow, he gave us each other.
In that, he was right, so very right. No one gives up Lois.
I suspect I’m not alone in having a special person walk through an unexpected door. You too, Dear Reader? You, who survived too long in a bad relationship, and came out with scars, regrets, and possibly shame.
And, hopefully, some treasure that broken person left behind-a friend, a former in-law, your kid.
There’s no them without him. A different kind of clarity all these years later. For that, I’m thankful. For the lessons. For the love. For the gift I wasn’t expecting.
Daryn Kagan was a featured speaker at TEDxBigSky 2018. She is author of “Hope Possible: A Network News Anchor’s Thoughts on Losing her Job, Finding Love, a New Career, and my Dog, Always my Dog,” and the founder of darynkagan.com, a resource for uplifting and positive news.
The Outlaw Partners is a creative marketing, media and events company based in Big Sky, Montana.
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We all are familiar with using a limited palette, but do you use one? Do you know how to use a
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Event Details
We all are familiar with using a limited palette, but do you use one? Do you know how to use a limited palette to create different color combinations? Are you tired of carrying around 15-20 different tubes when you paint plein air? Have you ever wanted to create a certain “mood” in a painting but failed? Do you create a lot of mud? Do you struggle to achieve color harmony? All these problems are addressed in John’s workbook in clear and concise language!
Based on the bestselling “Limited Palatte, Unlimited Color” workbook written by John Pototschnik, the workshop is run by Maggie Shane and Annie McCoy, accomplished landscape (acrylic) and plein air (oil) artists,exhibitors at the Big Sky Artists’ Studio & Gallery and members of the Big Sky Artists Collective.
Each student will receive a copy of “Limited Palette, Unlimited Color” to keep and take home to continue your limited palette journey. We will show you how to use the color wheel and mix your own clean mixtures to successfully create a mood for your paintings.
Each day, we will create a different limited palette color chart and paint a version of a simple landscape using John’s directives. You will then be able to go home and paint more schemes using the book for guidance.
Workshop is open to painters (oil or acrylic) of any level although students must have some basic knowledge of the medium he or she uses. Students will be provided the book ($92 value), color wheel, value scale and canvas papers to complete the daily exercises.
Sundays, April 14, 21 and 28, 2024
Noon until 6PM.
$170.
Time
14 (Sunday) 12:00 pm - 28 (Sunday) 6:00 pm
Event Details
Trivia from 7 to 9 p.m. at The Waypoint in Town Center. Participation is free, food and beverages available.
Event Details
Trivia from 7 to 9 p.m. at The Waypoint in Town Center. Participation is free, food and beverages available.
Time
(Wednesday) 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
Location
The Waypoint
50 Ousel Falls Rd