By Dan Egan EBS COLUMNIST
I rarely golf, since I’m not very good, and playing the mental game where I don’t judge myself to others or how well I hit the ball is the key to me having an enjoyable outing.
This past summer I golfed in a tournament in beautiful Lake Placid, New York, and I was teamed up with three golfers I had never met. There were two legit golfers, one “never-ever” and me, a “hack.” Right away I knew it was going to be an interesting outing.
Like in all sports, the actual golfers have an air about them from the way they dress, the equipment, the lingo and a bit of swagger. The never-ever was a college senior, seemly athletic with a confidence that said, “I’ve got this.” And me: I just was observing and anticipating what the day was about to hold.
It was best ball rules, which I don’t like. I like to hit my ball regardless of where it goes, if I can find it. Hitting from someone else’s location just takes the fun out of it for me. So, I knew I had to overcome this mentally and not let it get in my head.
On the first tee I quickly realized that the real golfers gaff as much as the hacks. Our two experts hooked their drives into the woods, I hit a worm burner, and the college kid cracked it right down the center of the fairway. We played his ball to the green.
As the day progressed a pattern started to form. The golfers spoke to each other about what club to use, where would be good placement and talked golf—almost ignoring the college kid and myself. I don’t speak golf. I hit irons off the tee, have a knack for chipping and for sinking the occasional long putt.
The college kid was having a blast. He was hitting the snot out of the ball and more than a few times he hit key shots for the team. It was hard to believe he had never played before.
Clearly, he was free of expectations and technique. He just went up there every time and swung for the fences. When he connected and it went straight it was jaw dropping. He barely took warm up swings. You could see he was in the moment and having fun.
It was so striking to me how free he was. He was never rejected on the bad strokes and in a state of amazement every time he connected with the ball. He was having fun.
And I was having fun watching him and because he was so joyful and a pleasure to talk to. We rarely spoke about the game or a certain shot. Rather the conversation was about life, hobbies and general chatter.
The other amazing part of the day was how little advice he sought about the game and when one of the “golfers” tried to give him a tip it was like he almost didn’t hear it. It was not important to him.
After some time, I did an experiment. I started to complement the experienced golfers with a comment like, “man that was a clutch shot” or “nice putt.” They would almost always come back with a comment that was like, “ya, close but not really what I wanted,” or “I misread the green.”
Then I would complement the never-ever, the college kid, and his responses were way more engaging and mirrored his enthusiasm for the day.
It really made me think about skiing and how much more fun it is when we are in the moment and embracing the joy of the day. As I often say, “don’t let performance ruin a great day of skiing.”
I believe it is possible to get better by enjoying the freedom of movement, saturating in the moment and discovering the flow state.
As my golf outing was coming to the close, I finally started finding my groove, inspired by my new college-aged friend. I hit my best chip shot of the day on the 16th that saved the hole for our group. On the 17th, I putted for birdie and on the 18th, I clobbered my drive with my driver for the best ball on the last hole. It felt good. It made me want to golf again one day. But for now, at the start of the ski season, I’m going to bring the attitude of the never-ever golfer.
So, bring on a new ski and snowboard season and go discover that freedom is found not in performance, but expressed in the joy you share with others. See you on slopes!
Dan Egan coaches and guides at Big Sky Resort during the winter. He has written books including “Thirty Years in a White Haze,” a must-read for winter enthusiasts, and “All-Terrain Skiing II.” Learn more about his projects, adventures and worldwide ski camps at www.Dan-Egan.com.
