By Jack Reaney SENIOR EDITOR
This is a three-part series about the challenges and opportunities facing the Big Sky School District in 2025. Part I overviews the district’s strengths and challenges, and Part III will be released Friday, March 14, exploring the ongoing importance of community support.
Bullying is a nationwide challenge that evolves with technology and culture. Some families believe it’s a serious problem in Big Sky, and that the Big Sky School District needs to take action.
“Students can be not so nice to a few kids in our class,” said a student from Ophir Middle School, reflecting on a fellow classmate who has been targeted relentlessly, reportedly struck by slurs and harassment, and only occasionally supported by peers. When that classmate speaks up to answer a question in class, they are sometimes told to “shut up” or called annoying by other classmates.
“I’ve actually never seen the teachers do anything about it,” the student told EBS, speaking anonymously on the basis of privacy. “I’ve seen it happen and nobody will ever say anything other than telling the people to be quiet.
“I don’t think bullying has ever really been talked about in our school, except for one time by one of our counselors at the school.”
Along for the interview, the student’s parent chimed in. “It just kills me to know that there’s some youngsters in this awesome town that are being treated differently. And I know all kids at this age are learning to be adults… but it just kills you, you know.”
Ally Wold, local marriage and family therapist who often works with Big Sky students and their parents, sees a “pretty pervasive” impact of bullying in Big Sky—she said just about every student-client is talking about bullying, whether the target is themselves or their friends.
She sees that Big Sky’s tight-knit community makes it hard for unique kids to find a comfortable niche, and believes that some feel pressure to fall in with the crowd.
“I feel like it’s just harder to escape,” Wold said, noting that social challenges are common for middle- and high-school aged students anywhere, but seem intensified in Big Sky.
Wold has heard families discuss school culture as a reason to consider leaving Big Sky—exploring schools in the Gallatin Valley, for example—due to the school’s handling of conflict between students.
The Ophir student suggested the school could spark more conversations about bullying—how to identify it, how to stop it, and the problems it creates in the school community.
In the same conversation, the student also praised the school and its teachers from an academic standpoint, highlighting the unique programs and opportunities offered by BSSD.
“Yeah, I feel like I’m getting a great education… They’re teaching me a lot,” the student said. “I think I have a good understanding in school.”
‘Very little action taken’
Montana’s 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey showed that 24.9% of Montana high school students were bullied on school grounds in the 12 months leading up to the survey, and 19.4% through electronic communication and social media.
Though the connection is indirect between bullying, social isolation and mental illness, the overall outcomes can be devastating: the survey reported 26.1% of Montana high schoolers seriously considered attempting suicide in the past 12 months, with 21.4% making a plan and 11.3% attempting to take their own life. Seventh and eighth grader responses were disturbingly similar, as were results from a separate Gallatin County report.
According to Dr. Dustin Shipman, BSSD superintendent, the district’s bullying policy is based on state law. It states, “bullying, harassment, intimidation, or hazing, by students, staff, or third parties, is strictly prohibited and shall not be tolerated.”
Dr. Marlo Mitchem, principal of Ophir Middle School and Lone Peak High School, said administrators are aware of when bullying happens in schools and that the school takes reports seriously and follows a full due process to weigh evidence and determine consequences or interventions.
“Our approach is, we certainly don’t want kids to feel like they’re being bullied,” Shipman said. “We want kids to come to school and feel great, and learn, and have successful peer relationships.”
Another local parent who spoke with EBS believes the district falls short of that goal. With Big Sky’s small grades sizes, they said it’s “very, very difficult to find your people,” particularly for students who aren’t included in popular groups like sports teams.
They discussed their teenage children who experienced bullying in school, and concerns about the school’s approach.
“Being ostracized… Being asked to sit somewhere else at the lunch table, being called names, being left out… It is happening, certainly, right in front of teachers,” the parent said. “… And there’s very little action taken.”
This parent believes that discipline is backwards at Big Sky schools—that bullies typically face no consequences, whereas the kids being targeted may face retribution for speaking up, despite the school’s policy that “retaliation is prohibited against any person who reports or is thought to have reported a violation.”
“It was very disappointing, and it certainly had us looking… to continue [their] education somewhere else,” the parent said.
The parent added their belief that students with powerful parents are “for sure” sheltered from discipline and often may act like it.
Administrators emphatically deny special treatment.
“Doesn’t matter who the person is, if I have some serious matter I try to address it equally,” Mitchem said. “But obviously the context always matters. But personally, on a moral, ethical level, I think it’s very important that I treat everybody… fairly.”
Shipman expressed confusion about the notion. “I mean, I don’t think there’s any of that that I know about, and certainly that I participate in,” he said.
Administrators explained that due to privacy laws, they cannot discuss specific disciplinary actions being taken against students. If the parent of a bullying victim visits the school demanding to know what punishment is being handed to an unkind classmate, the school can only respond with whether it’s been actively addressed—or as policy states, “The complainant shall be notified of the findings of the investigation and, as appropriate, that remedial action has been taken.”
“You have to protect student confidentiality and privacy through everything, so that’s the big piece,” Mitchem said.
Wold believes BSSD is focused on maintaining a positive narrative—a narrative well-earned considering new facilities and quality programs for Big Sky’s many bright, motivated and socially comfortable students—but hears from clients that the school is not sufficiently staffed or trained to handle student conflicts. Indeed, administrators are open about BSSD’s challenges with declining enrollment, staffing and funding, relying more in recent years on financial support from individual donors and community foundations to cover operating deficits.
“I think people feel really unheard by the administration… It’s tough,” Wold said. “I’ve had many families that said they bring things up to the school, and the school does nothing. Nothing.”
In speaking critically of an institution supported by influential community members and organizations, Wold balanced her professional concerns against the impacts of bullying to local students whom she supports as a counselor not affiliated with the school.
“As a district, as a community, I get the sense that the problem has been so overwhelming that people haven’t taken action because they’re not sure what to do,” Wold said. “… We need to have real conversations about ‘this is happening’ and not pretending it’s going to go away… This doesn’t have to be accepted. This doesn’t have to be the standard.”
“Our approach is, we certainly don’t want kids to feel like they’re being bullied. We want kids to come to school and feel great, and learn, and have successful peer relationships.”
Dr. Dustin Shipman, BSSD superintendent
Outside of school, Wold believes in the power of parents to help their kids, whether they provide a listening ear or an empathetic reminder that school isn’t the be-all, end-all of their entire life. She wants students to know they aren’t alone, even when the community feels small and isolating.
“Have conversations with your kids,” Wold suggests. “Keep talking, keep communicating. Spend time as a family… you can still be a huge source of relief for your kid if your home is a safe place.”
Leading by example
The district is making an effort to integrate positive social skills into its core curriculum.
This spring, Ophir Middle School is piloting a program called Wayfinder for sixth grade students. Debuted on Feb. 24, the Wayfinder curriculum encourages students to reflect on topics including how they want their community to feel; how to practice kindness; how to understand each others’ perspectives; how to learn from mistakes; and the intent versus impact of words and actions.
Janet Martinez, the district’s counselor for OMS and LPHS students, said Wayfinder is “cutting edge” for its research-backed, evidence-based lessons. She explained that sixth grade is physically, hormonally and socially a pivotal and challenging year.
“So that’s one aspect of how we’re trying to support our middle schoolers as they navigate their social relationships, and even their own emotional regulation and resilience,” Martinez said. If the program is successful, she plans to eventually roll it out across the entire middle school.
Martinez said she doesn’t see a lot of on-campus bullying in Big Sky, but there’s flare-ups here and there, often spilling over from weekend or outside-of-school interactions. When more serious cases do emerge, she refers them to Mitchem for investigation.
“I’m here to talk through feelings, be a safe person to listen without judgement, and maybe think about ‘how can I cope with this,’” Martinez said. For many conflicts, she helps to mediate a “make it work plan” between classmates.
“Whenever I’ve gone through it with the students, I feel like it’s really made a big difference. Just each person being heard and validated with their experience,” Martinez said.
Coming from Phoenix, Arizona, Martinez believes Big Sky’s small grade sizes can actually be an advantage. “We’re kind of like a family—we’re gonna be in school, we gotta learn how to get along… Rather than in a big school when you could just avoid each other and never address whatever issues, I feel like here, we’re kind of in it together.”
“We need to have real conversations about ‘this is happening’ and not pretending it’s going to go away… This doesn’t have to be accepted. This doesn’t have to be the standard.”
Ally Wold, local marriage and family therapist
The district’s International Baccalaureate programs promote 10 attributes in a learner profile, starting with the Primary Years Programme offered at Ophir Elementary School. The values are instilled in the learning experience, and as younger students practice regulating their behavior and being kind, Principal Brittany Shirley believes Big Sky kids are aware and receptive to those standards.
One attribute profiles IB students as “caring.”
“We show empathy, compassion and respect,” the learner profile states. “We have a commitment to service, and we act to make a positive difference in the lives of others and in the world around us.”
Students are also taught to be “principled.”
“We act with integrity and honesty, with a strong sense of fairness and justice, and with respect for the dignity and rights of people everywhere. We take responsibility for our actions and their consequences,” the profile states.
When young students inevitably fall short, Shirley believes school is a good place to screw up because you get another chance.
“We talk to the kids about being a good kid who had a hard time,” Shirley said. “We rarely, rarely use the word ‘bullying’ in this building, because kids are still learning and adjusting.”
Mitchem said as a principal she’s continually reminded that students are at an age of learning how to be kind and work together. She believes the goal of educators is to demonstrate those qualities.
“That’s what we do,” Shipman said. “I mean, the best way to teach a kid to be respectful is to respect the kid. And I think that’s what teachers do.”
“It’s how are the adults in the room role modeling and treating each other? Because the health of the school is how we’re doing,” Mitchem said. “And I think we do a really good job of being collegial, supportive and kind.”
