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The power of a friend to help you find your way home



By Daryn Kagan EBS Contributor

She is not the friend I talk to everyday. She lives on the other side of the country. We can go months without any connection beyond a nod on Facebook.

Until last week, when news spread that my friend had received some difficult medical news.

The details are not mine to share—besides, this column is not about her health battle ahead, but rather the bigger picture of our friendship.

We might not talk every day, but I’ve come to realize she is one of my most significant friends—in the way a true friend can help you get where you need to go.

Many years ago, when I was single and flush with cash from being a CNN news anchor, I loaned her and her husband money toward the down payment on their first home. I haven’t told many people this. I had actually forgotten about it, probably because they paid back every cent long ago.

Years later, a former boyfriend was getting married and I was devastated. If it feels like I often share a “former boyfriend was getting married” story, it’s not you, it’s me. I starred in many versions of this heartbreak movie.

In this particular episode, my girlfriend suggested I meet her in Chicago where she was attending a medical convention. It was such a relief to not be home on the wedding weekend.

How she didn’t yell from the hotel’s 27th floor that this dude marrying some other dumb girl would be among the luckiest things that ever happened to me, I don’t know. She made no judgement on my sadness.

Instead, she gave me a gift.

She said, “I know he’s on his way … the man who truly deserves you, who will cherish you, who will love you. I also know you can’t believe that right now. I will believe for you. I will hold him in my heart knowing he is on his way.”

I shared that story during an evening dog walk with my husband by my side. I just wanted to talk about my friend; he just wanted to listen. Because he is that guy. The guy my dear friend held in her heart all those years.

“It’s like she held space for you years before you got here,” I marveled. “Her gift was my first step toward you.”

And then, the tears started to splash. Something about the power of it all. How in our own way, my friend and I helped each other find our way home.

That is a friend—the one who helps you find your way home.

Do you have that dear reader?

It’s time to pick up the phone and tell that friend how much you love him or her, and how great it is to finally be home.

Daryn Kagan was a featured speaker at TEDxBigSky 2018. She is author of “Hope Possible: A Network News Anchor’s Thoughts on Losing her Job, Finding Love, a New Career, and my Dog, Always my Dog,” and the founder of, a resource for uplifting and positive news.

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